Disclaimer: I do not represent any particular 12-step program, nor do I speak for the program as a whole. This is my own interpretation of the 12-steps and a suggested way to look at them if you are struggling with any part of the 12-steps.
For more information on this series, click here.
Disclaimer: I do not represent any particular 12-step program, nor do I speak for the program as a whole. This is my own interpretation of the 12-steps and a suggested way to look at them if you are struggling with any part of the 12-steps.
So often I hear people shunning the 12-steps because of what they ask us to do. All this “powerlessness” and “Higher Power” talk scares a lot of people (including me at first) but the more I learned about the program, the more I was able understand the 12-steps for my own recovery. So I wanted to start a “series” of blog posts on my interpretation of the 12-steps. So starting with Step 1:
Does anyone have any information or experience with FA (Food Addicts Anonymous) or FAA (Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous)?
Firstly, why on earth did someone feel the need to start an FA meeting (founded in 1987) when Overeaters Anonymous already existed (for almost 30 years at that point)? Â And then why did someone feel the need to start FAA (founded in 1998) when there was already FA? I don’t get it!
I understand that both FA and FAA have very strict rules when it comes to food plans. But so does OA’s H.O.W program. And so does OA if you choose to have one.
I don’t know a lot about these two programs at all, but it seems with all these rules, they are forgetting that 12-step programs only offer suggestions and never force you to do anything. If this is incorrect, somebody please feel free to shed some light on this.
Also, I was looking up all these other 12-step programs. I understand that we all suffer from different things, whether that be alcoholism, eating disorders, drug addiction, compulsive gambling, etc., but why must we have separate meetings for each specific thing? Marijuana anonymous? Cocaine anonymous? Sex Addicts Anonymous? Sexual Compulsives Anonymous? Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous? Why all these similar groups? Why not just one?
It just seems to me like we have to differentiate ourselves in order to meet our own, selfish needs. Why are a lot of us unsuccessful in group recovery settings? Because we constantly focus on the differences rather than the similarities. Why must we start all these separate groups? To differentiate ourselves? To put ourselves into specific categories with people who “understand” us better?
To me that feels like a cop-out. It feels like an excuse to stay in our addictions. “I just don’t fit in with those other people.” or “Those people are way worse than I am.” or “Everything they say is so depressing.” or “Overeating/alcohol/drugs aren’t really my problem so I don’t get much out of it.”
“Overeating” wasn’t my main problem either, but because I wanted the recovery and I had no choice, I went to Overeaters Anonymous despite being one of two anorexics. But I fit in right away, because at that point in my life, I related to everybody in that room in one way or another. If I couldn’t relate to their addiction, or their lifestyle, or their cultural background, or their job, or their age, or their religion, I knew I could relate to their pain, their suffering, their loneliness, their guilt, their shame, their unhappiness. And who cares what causes those things? Alcohol? Drugs? Sex? Gambling? Eating? Not eating? It doesn’t even matter. What matters is we are all struggling to get better, and we can all help each other despite our ADDICTIONS telling us that we can’t because we “don’t relate.” Bullshit! We can help each other plenty if we just choose to get out of ourselves for one fucking, precious second.
Alright. This post went in a totally different direction that what I intended. My sincere apologies if I offended anyone.
I really thought my low days were behind me. After my entire house burned down, I thought, “What else could possibley go wrong in my life?” Well – we are officially broke. Like…literally. 0.00 dollars in our bank account. And it’s only Sept. 6th. We don’t get paid until October 1st. My credit card is maxed out. What the Hell are we supposed to do?
My brother is coming to stay with us and I’m hoping it turns out to be an opportunity. I really hope he decides to live with us for a bit so he can help out with the rent. We really need that. And he (in my opinion) needs me to help him straighten out his life. He’s an addict, and I want to take him to a few NA meetings. I know how much 12 step has helped me…I hope he allows me to take him so it may help him as well. The problem is that his disease wins most of the time and convinces him he has no problem. Just because he may not be doing his drug of choice doesn’t mean he still doesn’t suffer from his disease. Why do you think he has to move in with us? Because my dad won’t enable him anymore and he’s been living off of other people his entire life. God bless the boy…I love him to death…but he’s almost 30 and still lives a miserable life.
Hopefully this will be a great chance for the both of us. PLEASE GOD – HELP ME. HELP US.
