God Grant Me Dec. 16
“It really doesn’t matter if the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You have things to do, and you want to move on. “
-reallivepreacher.com
Today’s Action
Are there people I am angry at? I will write down their names. I will think about how my anger keeps me bonded to these people. I will then ask myself, “When will I be ready to leave this behind and move on?”
[Fiance's Ex] – I’m forever angry at this person. I know I shouldn’t be, but she’s caused so much hurt and pain over the last three years. She’s so shady and hateful. I’ve written about her before, so I guess I won’t go into it. She’s been alright the last few months, but I’ll never, ever give her the benefit of the doubt. It’s only time when she does something hateful again. Especially because it’s around the holidays. My anger keeps me bonded to her because she’ll always be in my life. She’s not someone I can cut ties with and wash my hands of because she is the biological mother of my fiance’s children. So there will be times when I will be angry with her. But lately I’ve realized that my anger hasn’t been as outrageous as it has in the past. Now that I’m in recovery, I’m better able to handle her crazy antics. I don’t carry any hardcore grudges anymore, and I suppose I’m not angry with her per se, I just hate her. I know you aren’t supposed to hate, but I truly believe that I hate this woman. When I look at her I’m not ANGRY with her. I just don’t care less because I hate her. I think I’ll always hate her, but that feeling doesn’t really affect my everyday life. I’m not constantly thinking about her, or letting her ruin my day. I think I have moved on from my problems with her.
[Fiance's Mother] – I’m still for sure angry at this woman. She’s just as horrible as my fiance’s ex, and again, this woman will always be in our lives. My fiance refuses to cut ties with her even though she has verbally stated that he is a bastard. I’m angry with her because she never gave us the benefit of the doubt, and with her, blood is definitely NOT thicker than water. She’s horrible to her son, and she is a sorry excuse for a Christian. She’s judgemental, snobby, and intimidating. She’s said horrible things to me AND him, and I hate every single second I have to spend with her. We are kind face to face, but inside I’m always just wanting to dig her eyes out with my fingernails. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to move on from this one…with the ex it’s like, she doesn’t know any better because she’s mentally unstable, but with this woman…a woman who has been on the planet longer than us…should know better.
