Recovering Anorexic

The next task is to pick another high numbered belief from the survey. I’ve chosen “I need to be liked.” The book then provided me a letter with blank spaces. I was asked to fill in the blank spaces with “I need to be liked,” and here is what I got:

Dear Friend,

I know you will never forgive me for this, but I have decided to end my life. I wanted you to know that it is not your fault or responsibility. I accept complete responsibility for my decision, and I am only writing you to tell you I love you and to apologize for any ways I may have hurt you–but mostly to let you know that you were the most meaningful part of my life, and I thank you for being in it.

Unfortunately, I cannot bear living another day. I can never overcome the fact that I need to be liked, and I don’t want to keep living in a world that’s made that way. I have listened to everyone’s advice and they are all wrong or it just doesn’t apply to me. In my world, I need to be liked. And I can’t take it any longer. I can’t ever be what I want to be. I’m not lucky. Everyone else gets the breaks. Fortune has never smiled on me. I’m miserable, and I’m tired of making other people miserable.

You are the only one who ever listened. You are the only one who seemed to care. I didn’t even appreciate all you did. My life is not worth living because I need to be liked. I will be dead by the time you read this, but just know there was nothing you could have done to stop me.

Good-bye,
Friend

It then asks me how the letter made me feel, if I’ve ever felt that kind of pain, what I would have done to reach out to this person, etc.

The letter actually made me feel guilty, because even though I do feel that I need to be liked, it’s not to the point where I want to end my life over it. But I know there are people out there who do want to end their lives because they feel the need to be liked by everone. It made me realize that maybe my beliefs aren’t that “important” or “troubling.” I am lucky because I don’t feel the need to end my life. I have been in a dark place like that, and I never would want to get back to that place again. I’m not quite sure what I would have said to reach out to a person like that, because I don’t from personal experience how hard it is to change someone’s beliefs. I guess that’s the point of this exercise.